Now that it's roughly a couple months later, and I have licked my wounds. I am brought to the scripture in the 

New Living Translation. It's Proverbs 24:16 "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked".

The way it's worded here to me removes the option of living a spirit-filled life and giving into failures. It's impossible. Which means through our failures, we MUST not only GET UP, but GET STRONGER. 

So I am getting back up. As a practical exercise I began writing what I learned through this whole thing, as to not allow this to "overthrow" me.

-I learned it's wiser to stop something if it's not health, even if it works on paper
-I learned that the God inside me, is MUCH bigger then the i ever proclaimed him to be.
-I listened everytime my wife reminded me where I am weak, HE is strong.
-I realized that the a strong spirit is only really able to achieve full strength, once it is broken.
-Concentrated focus and prayer take you through the questions more then you know.
-A love for a community you know nothing about is impossible to develop unless you infuse yourself in that community.
-A love for a community should be the FIRST place you start, not a building.
-People will buy tickets to watch you fail
-I realized concentrated focus makes people uncomfortable
-I learned "unless the Lord builds it, the builders labor in vain" in more ways then one.
-I saw relationships develop around mission
-I saw the good and bad sides of character
-I truly realized you can plan all you want, but when you realease to God's leading, your plans are NEVER AS GOOD.
-I watched the greatest person around children I've ever met, step up and become a inspiration to me for her sheer dedication.
-I saw a couple leave comfortability, to serve the community they live in
-I learned the church has a 2 sided people. One of beauty, one of contradictions
-I learned sacrifice will take everything out of you
-I learned to not fear what others deem as failure, and to learn from my failures
-To mention that, I learned not to be afraid to say I failed. I failed! But I am definitely getting back up
-I learned people hurt when you fail
-I learned that's big
 
     In one of my favorite books of all-time Celebration of the Disciplines" Richard Foster is quoted as saying:

      In contemporary society our Adversary majors in three things:  noise, hurry, and crowds.  If he can keep us engaged in the “much-ness” and “manyness,” he will rest satisfied…If we hope to move beyond the superficialities of our culture, including our religious culture, we must be willing to go down into the recreating silences, into the inner world of contemplation.  In their writings all the masters of meditation beckon us to be pioneers in the frontier of the Spirit.  Though is may sound strange to modern ears, we should without shame enroll as apprentices in the school of contemplative prayer. (p16)…Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God’s voice and obey his word.  It is that simple.  I wish I could make it more complicated for those who like things difficult. 

    I'm a fan of silence. I'm a fan of the quiet. I'm a fan of the Story of Samuel and Gods whisper to his name. I'm even more of a fan of how Elijah ran, sought, and found God in the silence. At the end of the day, no other voice can sooth or calm then the Silence of God 
(and I'm a firm believer Silence is of God).
         I want to add a new twist however, and it's something I've been practicing of late. Vocality. Not just any type of vocality, but vocality of scripture. 
                                 We read, we process, we meditate in silence. All of which are powerful and good (some are even MORE Christian and journal, and of course us bloggers are seated at the left hand of Gabriel). Vocality of scripture (reading scripture aloud) has this sense of proclamation. Recently I've been seeking Gods face for direction for raising, and heading up my family. I went to James chapter 5 today and began reading aloud how we as a family would not:
-Long for riches
-Be patient in times of trouble or trials
-And that we would be a praying house of faith.

Then, I meditated...In the beautiful Language of Silence..I believe silence is a language God speaks fluently, and those who seek him in the silence, understand this language.
Vocality ensures the dialect is the same.
Give it a shot. 


Bella principal:  (modus operandi)

Find your "prayer theme"
Read your scripture aloud (preferably alone, or with your spouse)
Meditate in silence

*(thanks Ben Reed for challenging me to keep writing)